But for now, I'll breathe

There are some events in life too tragic to overcome

“In time, you will heal”, as the saying goes –

But there are some events from which I will never heal. Instead, the shock to the system, the assault to the body, to the psyche altered me, sending me on a trajectory that will forever change how I view myself, and how I evaluate my relationship with others. I’ve been sent on a lifetime journey seeking solace, some kind of peace that will allow me to – at least for a moment – feel some kind of relief.

These moments of comfort, they do arrive, but they are fleeting at best. Try as I may to hold on, they fade, leaving me frightened, alone, isolated, detached.

There are some events in life too beautiful to overcome

“In time, you will heal”, as the saying goes –

But there are some events from which I will never heal. Instead, the intensity of the moment, the depth of emotion altered me, sending me on a trajectory that will forever change how I view myself, and how I evaluate my relationship with others. I’ve been sent on a lifetime journey, determined to find the reasons why rapture is intimately tied with suffering, why love must be forever bound to anguish. The reasons have yet to surface, leaving me frightened, alone, isolated, detached.

There may be forever more questions than answers, more pain than there is bliss

But I'll continue to dream of my utopia, a warm embrace, a gentle kiss

There may be forever more darkness than light, more defeat than victory

But I'll continue to dream of my moments of undivided rhapsody

But for now, I’ll breathe.

Carreen

1:25 p.m.

February 24th, 2019